On the Way
by KuroRiya
Summary: Chloe runs into Max again after five years. Max doesn't recognize her. To be fair, five years ago Max's best friend's name was Cole Price. A story about learning to forgive and accept not only each other, but themselves. Transgender Chloe, college AU, no time travel.


A/N: Just a warning, since you can't really tag them here: This story involves a transgender character who experiences dysphoria and depression, and there are mentions of past self-harm. Just be aware.

-.-.-+-.-.-

If there was one thing to be said about Max Caulfield, it was that she didn't change. She'd disappeared five years earlier, off to a city that thoroughly wiped her memory and sentiments of her old home from her mind. Not once had she even considered Arcadia Bay, in all of that time.

Well, that was Chloe speculating. Considering the lack of calls and visits over the years, it was hard to think much else. And just when she thought that maybe it was time to move on, to finally throw away all of the old journals full of scribbled hearts and Max's name, the girl herself showed up, walking around town as if she'd never left.

Her hair was shorter. She had bangs. She dressed like an unsure hipster wannabe. She was so thoroughly Max Caulfield that she had caught Chloe's eye in less than a second. Those freckles and that decrepit camera bag were unmistakable.

It left Chloe's throat dry and tight, heart fluttering as if her feelings had never changed, never waned. Even as a bitter anger rose, she couldn't deny that the sight of the other girl still sent her head spinning. She'd have given anything five years ago to kiss her best friend. Turns out that time doesn't change _everything._

But she had no way to approach. Max didn't know her. She'd never met Chloe Price. When they were still pirates raising hell together in Arcadia Bay, the names they'd scribbled on everything they could were Max and Cole.

Maybe it wouldn't be a big surprise to the brunette. If she really thought about it, she'd probably remember how much Chloe had loved dressing in her clothes, had loved sneaking into Vanessa's room to smear on lipstick and eyeshadow messily. At the time, no one really thought much of it, since Max and Cole were so close. They figured it was inevitable.

It'd never really worn off with age, though, and Chloe had legally changed her name three years ago. Estrogen and T-blockers had done her confidence wonders, and she'd finally started to settle into herself.

And then Max Caulfield walked out of the old camera store on the boardwalk.

Chloe's eyes stalked her as she clumsily dodged through the crowd, looking small, as she always did. It was obvious that she had bought a new part for her camera, or maybe film, because her face was lit up with a smile she reserved solely for her passion.

Could she say hi? Would Max recognize her? What should she say if she did? What should she say if she didn't? How could she approach?

In typical Maxine Caulfield fashion, the brunette stumbled on an uneven board, catching herself with her hands but dropping her things out of her bag in the process. They spilled out across the walkway, much to the annoyance of passerby.

With a sigh, Chloe ditched the remainder of her cigarette, jogging over to where the girl had taken her tumble and bending down to start helping with the collection of her belongings.

"Oh god, you don't have to do that-"

She was flustered, embarrassed, her cheeks bright red and eyes glassy with tears prepared to spill at the slightest provocation. Chloe knew that delicate look. She cut her off with a grin.

"I couldn't just ignore a pretty lady in distress." She argued. It startled her, how smoothly it came out. Normally her words got caught in her throat when she was trying to be flirty. It definitely worked, though; Max's face got redder.

"T-Thanks." She managed, scrambling to catch some of her lighter possessions that had been displaced further away by the wind. Chloe watched, still sort of in awe of her own prowess, before following after her.

Once they'd collected everything that wasn't lost forever, Max opened her bag and gestured at it until Chloe shoved her handfuls of pens and capsules of film in. The brunette smiled as she closed the flap of the bag, letting out a small sigh.

"Well, that couldn't have been much worse. But thanks for helping me, seriously." She said, reaching out to grab one of Chloe's hands, holding it between hers. Chloe did her damnedest to fight down a flush.

"Dude, just being a decent human." She assured, shaking her head.

"Way more decent than anyone else. I had to pull half of my homework out from under people's feet. Chivalry is so hard to come by these days." She bemoaned, huffing dramatically. Chloe grinned.

"Don't I know it. My Lady." She said, turning her hand to catch Max's with a small bow-curtsy combo that just sort of wound up looking like a bad plié. It made Max giggle all the same. Chloe grinned again, kissing the back of her hand for good measure. Her lipbalm, which was barely tinted pink, left a stamp on the smaller girl's skin, much to Chloe's embarrassment.

"Whoops. I guess most knights didn't wear makeup." She tried, laughing awkwardly. Luckily, Max chuckled along too, letting Chloe wipe the spot off on her undershirt.

"Probably not." She agreed, taking her hand back and letting it fall at her side. She didn't wipe it off further or anything, so maybe it wasn't totally terrible for her, even though Chloe felt like this interaction was derailing really fast.

Did Max know who she was? It didn't seem like it. Was that good? Maybe she should be offended. They _were_ best friends.

"My name is Max. Well, it's Maxine, but I add anyone who calls me that to my hitlist."

Chloe had to fight the urge to say that she already knew. Also the rising excitement. Yes, Max _had_ failed to recognize her, which hurt a bit. But that meant that she was _totally_ passing.

"Chloe. Nice to make your acquaintance."

She wanted to prolong the encounter, but couldn't think of a way that wouldn't come off as weirdly enthusiastic. It would be up to fate, then? She'd have to hope it was kind, and let them cross paths again.

"You too." Max replied, smiling earnestly. Then she did that classic doe-eyed look that was so essential to Maxine Caulfield's existence. It was the look that could make the infamously stubborn Chloe Price do anything the girl asked of her.

"So, um, look." She began, shuffling her feet. "This is going to sound really weird, but um…" She trailed, probably considering whether her request was too weird to ask. Chloe already knew what it would be, but she had to pretend to be surprised when the brunette dug in her bag for her camera. "You're really, um, beautiful. I just… Could I take a picture of you?"

Her cheeks were pink again, and Chloe quickly mirrored the look. Beautiful wasn't a compliment she received very often. But she would have said yes regardless. When Max found something she wanted to photograph, it would keep her up at night until she did.

"Alright." She agreed, her nose crinkling as she smirked at the shorter girl, striking a pose. Max scrambled to take the shot, considering it for several seconds before the shutter clicked. The film slid out, and she was shaking it the next second, a fond smile finding her lips. She always looked like that when there was film between her fingers.

When the colors began to show, she offered it for scrutiny. Chloe looked at her own image, looking about as ridiculous as she had felt. Yet, somehow, she could still see how good the picture was. Max's pictures had always been that way. She could take a picture of trash, but would frame it just right, and it could win contests.

"Not bad, Maxipad. You professional?" She asked. She knew better, but knew it would be flattering to ask. Sure enough, the girl blushed, working up another fluster. But then, maybe that was thanks to the feminine hygiene product nickname. Not her best joke.

"N-No. I'd like to be, though." She admitted, running fingers through the back of her hair anxiously. "I know it's kind of weird to ask for a picture out of the blue. I just… Once I see something, I just-"

Chloe nodded, holding up a hand to stop the rant Max was launching into.

"I get it, dude. I'll take it as a compliment." She assured, handing the photo back. "And who's going to say no to a photo when such a cute girl makes a face like that?"

Jesus Christ what a train wreck. Did she really just say that out loud? Could she get any gayer? God.

Max seemed to like the cheese, though, for she giggled again, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Quite the charmer, I see." She snickered, her eyes going half-lidded in a display that Chloe didn't really expect to see from her old friend. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined Max behaving so coyly.

"I try." Chloe agreed, mildly breathless as she considered the fresh crush blossoming for her long-gone friend. Did she really want to do this _again_? Wouldn't she just get hurt again?

But then Max's hair was getting caught up in the sea breeze, and her lashes were fluttering, and Chloe's heart was going a mile a minute just like that. The girl caught the hair and swept it back behind her ear to keep it out of her face, looking briefly annoyed before finding her smile again.

"Would you, um…" She paused, looking down at her shoes shyly. Chloe could see her searching for her nerve. "Would you like to get some coffee? I haven't been here in years, and I don't really have friends here anymore. Wowser, that sounds really pathetic." She realized, frowning. "It's just, I don't really like to sit in a café by myself."

Chloe quirked a brow, crossing her arms.

"Could've fooled me, with that hipster getup." She snorted. Max scoffed, looking down at herself with a new scrutiny. She didn't seem offended, in the end, shrugging.

"Hipsters need company, too." She reasoned, nodding towards the café she must have been heading to. Chloe turned to walk that way, making sure to walk slowly enough for Max to keep up easily. Long legs were both a blessing and a curse.

"So, you said you haven't been here in years?" The taller girl prompted, opening the door for Max when they got to it. "But you've been before?"

Max nodded, leading the way to the counter and glancing at the menu. She placed her order and waited until Chloe had too before she fully replied.

"I actually grew up here." She admitted, her eyes fading as she retreated briefly into what must have been her childhood memories. "My mom got a job offer in Seattle, so we moved about five years ago."

Chloe was surprised by how honest Max was being with a supposed stranger. Maybe she really _had_ been feeling lonely. How long had she been in Arcadia Bay, apparently friendless?

"I decided to move back to go to the university here. Blackwell Academy's photography program is famous enough that the university decided to make one too, to keep people in the area. Being home is just a perk, I guess."

A barista brought their drinks out, and had barely bustled away before Max was sipping at hers. It had to be too hot, but that didn't seem to matter as she drank down nearly half of it.

"How long have you been back?" Chloe wondered, stirring her own coffee to help it cool faster. Max seemed to contemplate it for a bit before replying.

"A few weeks. Long enough that I should have made friends, but not long enough to be settled in." She reasoned, sighing. She got that faraway look again, eyes darting out of the window. There was maybe even a little sadness in that gaze.

"Everything alright?" Chloe wondered, regaining the girl's attention. Max forced a smile.

"Yeah. You just remind me of a friend that I probably should have contacted by now." She professed. It made Chloe's heart skip a beat. Maybe, just maybe, the brunette hadn't forgotten her completely.

"Oh yeah?" She baited, wanting to hear Max say it. Some part of her needed the satisfaction.

Max took another long, contemplative sip, licking foam from her lips to stall further.

"Don't take it the wrong way, but it was a boy I knew. He was my best friend growing up, and I can't imagine him living anywhere else." She mused. "But I didn't keep in contact after I left. I don't really know how to approach him, if I could even find him."

Chloe understood, more than Max could know. Some part of her was furious. Some part of her wanted to make Max feel so small she'd go running right back home to Seattle. How _dare_ she even think she could come crawling back after years of ignoring her best friend.

But another part of her was really enjoying passing so completely that her own best friend was clueless. And she couldn't call Max on her shit without outing herself.

"I'm a pretty shitty friend." The brunette huffed, rubbing her forehead. "Maybe that's why I can't make any."

Alright, well, Max had gotten a lot angstier with age. She was almost too pathetic to be mad at. Almost.

"Well, uh…" Chloe began, biting her lip with hesitance. "We're getting coffee. We can get to know each other and shit, if you want." She offered, shrugging as if that wasn't the most uncool thing anyone had said ever. Max didn't seem to mind, though, a small smile replacing her grimace.

"That's why I asked you to come. Sorry for being lame and whiny."

Chloe shook her head, finally having a chance to have some of her drink.

"I don't think you're lame. But tell me about yourself. How was Seattle?"

And Max told her. They wasted time at the café till it was starting to get a bit dark outside, and Max realized she needed to catch the bus or she was going to have to walk back to campus. It felt like they'd caught up on five years of missed time, and yet like they had a lifetime of catching up still to do, at least for Chloe. Her eyes were tired and her limbs shaky from how much coffee she'd downed to have an excuse to keep talking to Max.

Turns out that time hadn't changed the way she felt for the girl at all. She couldn't get enough of that voice, especially when she got Max talking about her major. The way that Max talked about her passion was something special. No matter how many seemingly foreign words spilled from her lips, her obvious, earnest enthusiasm was such a draw.

She'd gotten prettier, too. The uneven adolescent body Chloe had once known so well had matured into what looked to be a soft, petite figure that she'd kill to hold. Her mess of long hair had been traded for a feathery bob that helped frame her freckled cheeks and jaw. Even the grey-blue of her eyes seemed more vibrant, like a rolling storm.

Watching her trot off with a wave was hard. It was hard not to think that she'd never see the girl again. But Chloe tried to be comforted by the new contact in her phone, and the promise of another coffee date soon.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Before they had a chance to hook up again for coffee, Chloe found the familiar brunette hiding in a corner at a party that Rachel dragged her to. She was desperately clutching a solo cup and eyeing each member of the crowd as if to rank them by how much of a threat they posed her.

"You don't really look like the partying sort." Chloe offered, nudging the girl's arm and sending her about a foot in the air with a yelp. Her eyes were wide when she turned to find the blue haired girl pressed close, so she could be heard over the thumping music.

"You scared the living daylights out of me!" Max shouted, half out of apparent distress and half because of the noise. Chloe chuckled.

"I noticed. Wanna step outside?" She suggested, nodding towards the back door. Max seemed thankful for the escape route, and beelined for it with Chloe close on her heels. She seemed to calm down visibly as soon as the door closed and the bassline was all that remained of the pounding playlist from inside.

"Thanks." She breathed, taking a moment to just soak up the cool night air. Chloe grinned, bumping fists with Justin when he passed, receiving a wink. Score.

"Yeah, dude. Sometimes you just gotta take a sec. Parties can be a lot. You drunk?" She asked.

"Not even remotely." Max replied, offering her cup for inspection. Chloe took a swig, finding it was just coke. She handed it back.

"Are you one of those good kids?"

Max scoffed, pushing Chloe playfully.

"Hardly. I just don't really know anyone here. Well, except you, apparently. I don't make a habit of getting shitfaced around strangers. Definitely not without a friend." She explained.

"That's fair. You smoke at all?" Chloe asked, glancing at the porch where Justin and his friends were lighting up a few joints.

"Cigarettes?" Max grimaced, her tone suggesting she would have nothing to do with them. Chloe quickly shook her head.

"Weed." She clarified, pointing over to the group. Max looked as well, and shuffled her feet awkwardly.

"Um, I had a failed attempt, once." She finally offered lamely. But her body language was open, and her posture ready to follow Chloe over. That was enough for the taller girl.

Justin grinned when she and Max joined the circle, and it wasn't long before Chloe was puffing on a joint at last. Max eyed it nervously, but didn't pass when Chloe handed it over. Chloe leaned in to mumble some instructions into the girl's ear.

She didn't do very well, but also didn't cough as much as she could have. She got better as she went, and Chloe could see her finding her buzz as she took a few hits, watched her muscles loosen.

Before the brunette smoked herself to the stars, Chloe gave Justin a nod and pulled her companion back into the house. She didn't seem to mind the number of people inside anymore, easily tiptoeing through the crowd behind Chloe.

Rachel was dancing with some boy from the university, but ditched him when she spotted Chloe waving. She gave Max a once-over, then smirked at her friend.

"Having fun?" She inquired, eyes darting towards Max again. The brunette was oblivious.

Chloe kicked Rachel's shin gently, grinning back.

"You know it. Rachel, Max." She introduced, gesturing between them.

A look of realization came over Rachel's face, and she considered Max far more thoroughly. Her eyes found Chloe's, and her expression asked " _that_ Max?"

Because Rachel knew. Rachel was the one Chloe had found when Max disappeared. Rachel had held her when she cried, had been there as she started to transition. She knew Chloe inside and out, and therefore knew how bad Maxine Caulfield had hurt her.

She nodded, confirming her friend's suspicion. But that only brought on more confusion.

"Nice to meet you." Max piped, a little delayed as she dragged her eyes from an anime poster on the wall. She'd entirely missed the interaction.

They chatted briefly, then Chloe pulled Max out to dance. It took some convincing, but eventually she got the smaller girl to move her hips. She wasn't a good dancer, but once she got over thinking people were watching, she seemed to enjoy it.

When the brunette excused herself to the bathroom, Rachel seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Where did _she_ come from?" The girl asked, eyeing Max's retreating figure. Chloe made a face, trying to discern the best way to explain it to her friend. She could hear the irritation in Rachel's voice, could sense the lecture coming her way sometime soon.

"We ran into each other on the boardwalk a few days ago." She finally offered, running her fingers through what little hair poked out of her beanie. "She didn't recognize me. She still hasn't."

Rachel seemed surprised. Then incredulous.

"And that makes everything _fine_?" She hissed, brows furrowed. Lecture time. "Chloe, she disappeared without a word to you for five years, and you're going to forgive her just because she's such a bad friend that she hasn't realized who you are?"

While Rachel had a point, her tone was grating. If there was one thing Chloe hated about Rachel, it was her voice when she was pissed off. Mostly because she was almost always right.

"No!" She replied quickly. "Er… Maybe... I don't know!"

Her friend was unimpressed, crossing her arms over her chest silently. Instead of looking up to see the quirked brow and thin frown, Chloe glared at her own boots, shuffling them like a kid getting scolded by their mom.

"Look, it's just nice, alright? Not many people in town don't know. It's nice to be treated like a real girl for once." She defended.

Rachel scoffed, shaking her head.

"Chloe, I'm not stupid. I know that dumb look you have on your face when you're around her. And I know every time I see it you wind up heartbroken and crying outside my dorm at four in the morning."

It was only annoying to hear because it was true. Some part of Chloe already knew she was setting herself up for disaster. It didn't stop the anger from flaring up, though.

"Fuck you. It's not like that." She spat, scowling like a petulant child. No wonder Rachel spoke to her like one sometimes.

"Whatever you say, Chloe." Was all she got before Rachel took a step back and was enveloped by the crowd. Max took her place barely a second later, smiling.

"Sorry for taking so long, the girl that came in after me started throwing up so I got her some water." The brunette explained, shaking her head as if to rid her mind of the memory.

Stuck between being glad to see the girl again and lingering irritation from her conversation with Rachel, all Chloe could manage was a small smile. That was enough for Max, though, for she lit up with a grin.

All too sudden, the brunette was pressed up against her. Some guy had shoved her out of his way to the kitchen. Lucky for him, Chloe was too surprised to follow him and punch him like she ought to have. Instead, she wound up squeezing Max close to help the other girl keep her balance.

Her freckled cheeks were pink when she looked up, and Chloe's followed suit upon seeing the expression. Did she dare hope that Max might like her too? Body language would suggest so, but Chloe knew Max to be stupendously hard to read sometimes. She seemed to follow her own set of rules as far as self-expression went.

They'd only just met again. Chloe didn't want to risk messing it up. It would have been so easy to kiss Max, right then, right there. But she didn't.

Instead, she huffed, then pulled Max back into a dance. It made her giggle, and the blush faded, so Chloe considered her to be properly distracted from… Whatever that was. She reminded herself to breathe, realizing she'd barely taken a breath while staring at the curve of Max's lips.

 _Fuck-_ She thought. _I'm so fucked._

-.-.-+-.-.-

She wound up driving Max to the dorms, and then crashing in her room. She knew that she shouldn't have; Too many things could go wrong. But she was tired, and Max made those doe eyes that she'd always been weak against.

The brunette was affectionate when she was high, it turned out. Chloe tried to remember the last time they'd parted fully, and realized that it must have been the last time she went to the bathroom. That felt like hours and hours ago. She didn't really mind, though.

Max had linked elbows with her as they left the party, and hadn't let go since. As if she needed the guidance. Maybe she did. But she finally released her hold when they got to her room, darting in to turn on a light.

Chloe considered the space with interest, noting that Max's interests hadn't ventured too far in five years. There were a few new posters that she didn't recognize, but most of the walls were covered in photos and familiar prints of the things Max was into.

The girl herself flopped down on her bed, lazily kicking her shoes off before crawling over towards the wall to make space for Chloe. The taller girl sucked in a breath.

"Uh, are you sure?" She asked softly, eyeing the futon on the other side of the room that was definitely too small for her lanky limbs. Max quirked a brow, patting the bed next to her, and Chloe cautiously slid in next to her after shimmying out of her jacket.

The brunette reached for the wire to the paper lantern she'd turned on, palming for the switch for a moment before switching it off. Chloe blinked in the darkness, heart pounding in her ears, hyper-aware of Max's form next to her even in her momentary blindness.

She jumped when Max started shuffling around, a few noises of concentration leaving her lips, then there was a dull thump on the floor a few feet away from the bed. Chloe reasoned she must have taken her bra off, and it was followed promptly by her jeans.

She'd shared a bed with Max before. But they'd been a lot younger at the time. And they'd always had all of their clothes, because Vanessa would have had a heart attack if she'd caught a shirtless boy in her daughter's room.

Funny how history repeats itself.

With Max half undressed, Chloe felt awkward in her entire outfit, but didn't dare risk being _that_ exposed. She wished she'd worn different jeans, knowing the seams would be permanently imprinted in her skin if she slept in them.

But if Max woke up before her, if the blanket moved the wrong way, if Chloe had the wrong kind of dream-

She settled for unbuttoning them and gritting her teeth. One night wouldn't kill her. At least she wasn't transitioning the other way around _._ She didn't envy the thought of trying to sleep in a binder. Her chest hurt just imagining it.

It didn't matter, anyway. She forgot about her pants entirely when Max rolled over and wound her arms around Chloe's waist. She cuddled close, hooking her knee over the taller girl's legs before letting out a satisfied sigh.

Chloe's heart was racing and her mind was blank. All she could think about was the girl pressed against her side. Soft, familiar, oblivious Maxine Caulfield. How warm her breath was. How heavy her limbs were. How amazing it was to feel them there anyway. How soft her lips looked when Chloe's eyes adjusted to the faint light from the street lamp outside.

She came to the conclusion that she was in too deep.

-.-.-+-.-.-

She woke up before Max did. Just like always. There was no need to worry.

It took some doing, but she wiggled out of the girl's arms, sneaking into the bathroom to freshen up. Her boobs were definitely uneven after sleeping with them. She could hear Max stirring in the other room, so she made it quick, only grimacing a little at the sight of her own appearance in the mirror.

"Not cute." She commented, rubbing away some eyeliner from the night before. Habitually, she ran the pads of her fingers over the skin of her jaw. It was smooth, and had been for ages. Old habits die hard. Thank god she didn't have to shave anymore.

When she emerged, Max was sitting up in bed, laptop perched on her thighs. She smiled, glancing Chloe's way.

"Morning."

Chloe tapped her phone, wincing.

"Afternoon, more like. It's 2:48." She shared, pocketing the device. Max groaned.

" _This_ -" She huffed, gesturing vaguely. "Is why I don't party. I don't know why I let Dana talk me into it. I knew she wasn't going to hang out with me, but I let her convince me anyway."

Chloe chuckled, sitting next to her on the bed again.

"Hey! You got to hang out with me instead. Even better, right?" She suggested cheekily. Max rolled her eyes, scrolling idly through some camera part website.

"Right. Sleep alright?"

"Yes." Chloe lied quickly, smiling. She couldn't tell Max how late she'd stayed up, mind focusing on not moving a single muscle, a fear of being outed haunting her and keeping her from properly enjoying the cuddling. "Wanna get breakfa-Er… Lunch?"

Max snapped the computer closed abruptly, as if she'd been waiting for just that cue.

"I'm starving. Let me pee real fast."

She darted into the bathroom, and Chloe came to learn that she was still in her shirt and undies. Maybe she should have hesitated a bit more to check out the view. Maybe. At least she had the humility to blush.

 _I can't believe I want that sad white ass._ She bemoaned in her mind, scrubbing her hand over her face.

When Max finished up in the bathroom, she busied herself with finding some pants to put on, and Chloe got to work lacing her shoes. Wearing the same clothes twice made her feel frumpy, but Max proved to be the 'ride together' sort, for she didn't change her shirt or clean up any better than Chloe had.

"We're going full 'day after,' huh?" The taller girl noted, chuckling at the state of the two of them. Max just shrugged, ruffling her hair further with her hand.

"I don't know these people." She reasoned, grabbing a key and nodding towards the door. She locked her door, looping the strap the key was on over her head to wear it sort of like a necklace. She always _had_ been sort of forgetful. Maybe it helped.

"Where to, Maxaroni?" Chloe asked, twirling her own set of keys around her index finger.

"You're the local." Max countered with a shrug, letting herself into the passenger side of Chloe's truck. The driver snorted, getting in as well.

"You still count as a local." She argued, patting the steering wheel encouragingly when the engine sputtered to life. Despite her protest, she began to consider their options. She nearly made the mistake of suggesting the Two Whales, before realizing that Joyce would _definitely_ recognize Max, and Max _might_ recognize her.

That was one awkward situation Chloe could do without, so she headed instead for a Thai place she and Rachel had found about a year ago after getting blackout drunk together. Max didn't complain.

They ate ravenously, then Chloe dropped Max off and said goodbye. It was strange to think about going back to normal life, where the girl wasn't constantly present. Sort of a bummer, even. But it would be weird to ask to hang out longer.

And it was time for a shower.

-.-.-+-.-.-

The more that Chloe hung out with Max, the more annoyed Rachel got with her. There was no way she could argue with her friend, though, because she was right. Rachel was always right.

In the back of her mind, Chloe knew that she was going to have to come out to Max. The longer time went on, the harder it got not to throw caution to the wind and just kiss the girl. But Max had hurt her so much- Once, she'd believed she'd never forgive her best friend. Once, she'd convinced herself that she hated her.

They needed to talk about it. There were five years that left a hole, and they were going to have to build a bridge across it. But the more Chloe put it off, the harder it got to come clean. By the time she finally got it out, Max was going to be just as angry at her for lying.

Well, at least they'd be on level ground?

Rachel didn't see it that way. And she didn't keep it secret.

"-nd her eyes got all wide, then she lost her fucking shi-" Chloe had been talking for what seemed like hours. Apparently it was too much for Rachel.

"I don't want to hear about her!" She interrupted, standing up from where she'd been perched next to Chloe on the loveseat in the dump. Her outburst was surprising, but made Chloe realize, with a tinge of guilt, that she _had_ been blathering about Max pretty much the whole time.

"S-Sorry, dude." She mumbled lamely, rubbing her neck to show she felt sheepish. Rachel began pacing a bit.

"She's all you talk about!" She finally accused, brows furrowing and bottom lip caught between her canines. How could Chloe argue? "Did you forget the shit she pulled, Chloe? She left right after your dad died, and couldn't be bothered to even drop you a line? Never even cared to check and make sure you were dealing with it alright? She wasn't there when you hurt yourself! She wasn't there when you came out! She doesn't even fucking know who you _are_!" She hissed.

Chloe winced, shoulders stooping in towards her frame. She wasn't wrong.

"How long do you think this weird fucking lie can last?"

She apparently didn't want an answer, for Rachel left with one last aggravated growl, stomping off towards town. There wasn't much to do but watch her go.

And then Chloe was left to her thoughts. So many thoughts.

Thoughts about Max, new and old. The map of freckles she'd made in her mind, the messy brown hair that she loved to run her fingers through, the blue of her eyes that was sort of reminiscent of an old, well-loved pair of jeans.

Thoughts that she'd rather forget. That Rachel had brought up. Her father. Struggling with losing him, with losing Max at almost the same time. All of it amid rampant gender-confusion and teenage hormones. She remembered hurting, and trying to find a way to deal with it, to control it. She remembered hospitals and questions and crying a lot.

Thoughts about Rachel, who had been there for her instead of Max. Who was her lifeline for years. Who was probably about to deliver an ultimatum. Who was going to make her choose, to make her act. Who she'd loved, once.

It was dark by the time she realized, and the walk through the junkyard was particularly eerie alone. She wished Rachel hadn't left her earlier. She wished Max was by her side.

She was starting to feel alarmingly numb.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Max had texted her, but Chloe couldn't find the words to reply. She'd read the messages over a few times. Part of her wanted to accept the invitation for coffee. Seeing Max sounded amazing.

But the thought of leaving her apartment frightened her. It made her heart race. It'd been so long since she'd struggled to go out, she'd nearly forgotten what it was like. Funny how just a few words could set her back a few years in progress.

Instead of trying to come up with an excuse, she just ignored the message.

A lot of the day went by with her curled up on the couch, Netflix autoplaying a cooking show that she wasn't watching. Mostly, she stared at her own knees, or the ceiling. Sometimes the floor, if she felt adventurous.

She jumped when her cell buzzed again.

The message was from Max, amending her offer of coffee into dinner, to suit the later time. Chloe thought to ignore it, but her stomach growled in immediate protest, and she forced herself up and towards her room.

It was a mess, and the thought of navigating it was daunting, but she pushed forward until she could reach a shirt. Then it was time to torture herself with the decision of wearing a bra or a sweatshirt. She didn't really feel like going through the process of finding her inserts and a bra, but her desire to pass for Max wound up overcoming the oncoming depression that was definitely starting to set in.

Yesterday's pants would have to do, though. She only had so much energy.

Max was waiting for her at the pizza place she'd suggested, and she waved when she saw Chloe walk in. She'd been seated in a cute little booth for two. A few butterflies managed to flutter amongst the storm of emotion that left Chloe unable to function properly. It looked like a _date_. Did Max think so too?

The brunette greeted her warmly, her smile wide and genuine. Chloe's felt weak in comparison. But she fought for it, wanting to keep her friend happy.

"Hey, Chloe." Max said.

"Hey." The taller girl replied. "Uh… Sorry for not answering your first text. I saw it, but I-um… I kinda forgot. Sorry."

Max seemed surprised that she'd brought it up, bless her soul.

"No worries. Life happens! But, hey, are you feeling alright?" She asked, her smile falling into a look of consideration, maybe a little concern. When Chloe looked at her, incredulous, she held her hands up in defense. "Sorry, you just… You seem a bit, um, different? Kind of… Down. Did something happen?"

It was no wonder they were best friends. Max was the only person that had ever been so good at reading her emotions. It was scary sometimes. And it was seemingly effortless, on her part.

Chloe's initial reaction was to say that everything was fine, to spare her the gory details. But Max had always firmly believed that keeping things from people was lying. And she was getting tired of lying to people.

"…Sort of. It's not something you can help with. It'll be fine." She promised, holding Max's stare to prove she was being sincere. It seemed to be enough, for Max nodded.

"Text me if you need me." She urged, but she didn't pursue it any further to Chloe's immense relief. Max was nosy, but it appeared that she was learning to have some boundaries.

They ordered a pizza, not bickering for even a second over toppings. Max was a bit surprised, but Chloe knew they wouldn't have any problems. They'd always liked the same pizza.

With her stomach full, Chloe offered Max a ride home. They listened to a soft indie station Max picked out. Even though Chloe complained, it actually didn't grate on her as much as other people's music usually did. Listening to Max singing along quietly helped, admittedly.

They parted with a wave, and Chloe promised to text soon.

Her spirits were a bit better. Definitely not at one hundred percent, but better than when Rachel ditched her at the dump. That was something. Hopefully she could cling to it and dig her way out before she fell into a full depression. Maybe she should talk to Max again.

It came easier, answering the text. She tortured herself over her response, but _did_ send one. And before she knew it, she was texting Max almost constantly. Even as she wandered around her apartment, sometimes cleaning, other times just smoking, her cell was always in her pocket.

It kept her distracted.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Max started asking her to coffee every day, and then stopped asking because it just became a daily ritual. It gave them both a good start to the day, and a chance to check in. The brunette had clearly caught on to what Chloe was dealing with, for her concern oozed out.

But it wasn't condescending. It was just obvious that she cared. Chloe wished she'd had that right after her dad died. Things might have been a lot different. _She_ might have been a lot different.

It would have to be enough, though, to know that Max had come back.

They had to part every day around ten for Max to make it to her first class, and Chloe watched the hands on the clock move with a small bit of dread. Every second was one fewer she had to spend with the other girl.

Max was rambling about some photos she'd taken, and if she was being honest, Chloe only heard bits and pieces. But she couldn't take her eyes off of the brunette. She shone, energy rolling off her in waves as she got more passionate. Most people cut her off when she started throwing around outlandish photography terms, but Chloe didn't mind. Some things transcended language.

She didn't notice when Max stopped talking, and was caught off guard, the table clattering from where her legs had jerked underneath. In her defense, Max had just leaned across the table and kissed her. Maxine Caulfield had kissed her.

 _Wow._

But also- _What the fuck?_

"Um-" Was all she managed. Max was red in the face, but also looked sort of proud.

"I've been doing some introspection, and decided I ought to work on being braver." She announced, as if that was an explanation. Chloe just blinked at her. "I have a crush on you."

 _Oh._

"And I think I'm going to go visit Cole this weekend. If he's still here." She added, determination finding its way into her eyes. Chloe's mouth went dry. Max glanced at her phone.

"I've got to get to class." She realized, pursing her lips. But then she smiled, looking back at Chloe. "I'll text you later." She assured, packing her things up in her bag before waving goodbye.

The remaining girl was stunned, hands gripping the table for some form of tether. Her heart raced, mind foggy with excitement because Max _liked_ her. But she couldn't bask in it. Max's new courage was both a blessing and a curse. Like long legs.

Would Joyce lie for her? If she begged her not to say a word, maybe. But could she ask her mother to do that? Max had been practically a daughter to her. It would be a cruel request.

But the alternative frightened her. She was definitely regretting how much she'd procrastinated on explaining things to Max. It would have been so much easier if the girl hadn't just kissed her. She could already see the look of betrayal that would come over her face as she realized.

The only comfort she had was to run her fingers through her hair, panic rising as she floundered for a solution. She had to tell Max, but she wanted desperately for the girl to still want her after. She felt her chances to be bleak, though.

She wished she could ask Rachel for advice.

-.-.-+-.-.-

The week passed by, and Chloe failed to do anything about her situation. It was Friday, which meant she was out of time. Max was either going to find out from her, or from Joyce. She would rather do it herself, but was frozen with cowardice, waiting for an opportunity that was never going to come.

They were having coffee, as per, with Max's fingers laced between Chloe's. Nothing had really been discussed after the kiss, and where they stood was still up in the air. But holding her soft freckled hand was almost too natural.

"I'm going to see if Cole still lives in the same house today when I get out of class." The brunette announced, craning her neck till it rested on the other girl's shoulder. Chloe made a noise of distress that apparently passed for one of confirmation, for Max continued. "He's probably going to chew me out… Maybe chase me a little." She chuckled, though it seemed nervous.

Chloe winced, because she could see herself doing that. If they'd met again under different circumstances…

Before she could really respond, Max was rushing off to class. She paused in her hurry, though, fidgeting on the spot for a moment before lurching forward to plant a parting kiss on Chloe's cheek. She looked thoroughly flushed, but also pleased with herself.

The taller girl was too flustered to wave back as the brunette scampered to class.

-.-.-+-.-.-

When Max got out of class, Chloe made sure that she was home. She gave her mom a paraphrased version of what was happening and convinced her to leave for a few hours, then waited anxiously on the couch for Max to knock on the door.

Even though she was expecting it, she was still startled when she heard Max's knuckles on the door. No matter how long she thought over what she ought to say, it didn't make her feel any more prepared. There was no doubt in her mind that she'd forget everything she'd considered saying as soon as she saw Max.

It took the brunette a second to realize what was wrong with the picture when Chloe swung the door open. When she did manage to process it, her brows furrowed.

"Chloe? What are you doing here?" She wondered, looking up at the façade of the house, probably to make sure she'd gone to the right one. With half of a new paint job done, though, it was unmistakable. "You don't live here, do you?"

The girl in question bit her lip, sucking in a deep breath.

"Look, Max, I've got some explaining to do. Will you come in?" She hoped. And while her friend looked endlessly confused, she complied, pattering inside.

Chloe let the door swing shut, then led the way to the living room. She could hear Max following behind, and could feel her stare even without looking. After briefly considering the couch, she opted to just stand. It seemed wrong to sit for this sort of talk.

"So, um… Yeah." She began lamely. Max seemed unimpressed. "I, uh… I really should have told you. I know. But I'm…"

When words failed, Chloe had always been one to act. It was far easier to haul up her shirt and just _show_ Max what she meant. It was so much faster than stumbling over nerves and words.

Again, Max was slow on the uptake, eyes roving for seconds upon seconds before understanding lit up her expression. Then her eyes dragged up from Chloe's chest, and to her face. And it clicked. Chloe watched her realize.

"Oh my god-"

So, she wasn't taking it as well as hoped. Granted, Chloe wasn't _expecting_ things to go well _._ Just hoping. There wasn't much she could do, at that point, except let Max work out her feelings.

"I can't believe-" She mumbled, brows furrowing in distress. "Oh my god. I'm such an idiot! I-"

At this point, she was backing up, as Max did when she got overwhelmed. She jumped about a mile in the air when her back hit the wall, and she turned with her eyes wide to see what she'd run into. When she turned back around, she looked scared, as if she thought she was in danger.

"I-I… I need to go. I'm sorry. I've gotta… I need to think about…About stuff." She finally stuttered, quickly darting to the door. It swung on its hinges and clicked back into place before Chloe had a chance to stop her.

It felt final, like it was the last time she'd see the other girl. But then, she felt that way anytime someone left. Guess that's what happens when everyone in your life leaves.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Contrary to normal Maxine Caulfield protocol, she actually showed up for coffee the next day. Chloe had gone for the principle of the matter. But when the brunette popped her head in and scanned the tables, it made the taller girl's heart flutter, both with excitement and relief.

Max joined her shortly, holding her normal coffee. Her expression was sheepish, but she didn't hesitate to sit down. She got settled in, and took a few sips of her drink, then sighed.

"So, we both suck." She announced. Chloe grinned.

"Forgive me?" She inquired. Max rolled her eyes.

"Of course I do. I think ditching your best friend for five years is way worse than anything you could do." She pointed out, then winced. " _And_ I didn't recognize you. God."

Chloe let out a little huff, but already she was relaxing. All it took was a word from Max.

"You know what? Let's just call it even, yeah?" She suggested, holding out her hand. The brunette appeared to consider it at length, but eventually accepted the handshake. "But no more bullshit, you hear me? Pick up your fucking phone once in a while."

Max smiled apologetically, glancing down at her shoes for a break from eye contact.

"And I won't lie to you. I wasn't _exactly_ lying, but you know." Chloe added.

It was refreshing to have it all out in the open and dealt with, and Max decided to skip school for the day to spend it with Chloe instead. Once the coffee was gone, they headed for the lighthouse. That's where they had their best heart-to-hearts.

They spent some time on the bench just taking in the view silently. Max took a few pictures. Then she scootched closer, leaving Chloe very little personal space. Not that the taller girl was complaining. Au contraire, she was happy to sling an arm over the brunette's shoulders.

"Should we… Talk about this?" She wondered, squeezing Max's shoulder.

"…I don't think so." The other girl replied, turning to let Chloe see her mischievous smirk before pressing their lips together.

That was good enough for Chloe, and she spent the rest of the day lazing in the sun, kissing Max, and trailing her fingers through pretty brown tresses.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Rachel popped up at a party, and after staring at each other across the room for a few hours, they wound up smoking the same blunt, and then talking for a bit. A bottle of vodka, a trip to Taco Bell, and a night that left them both mostly naked on the floor in Chloe's room had them on good terms again.

Chloe was glad to have her back, because being with Max was a little intimidating without friendly guidance. She'd been too scared to do anything but kiss the girl. The most she'd managed was calling Max her girlfriend, and that had been sort of hesitant at the time.

"Do you think I could, you know… Make out with her? Is it too soon?" She fretted, tossing a hacky sack across the room for Rachel to catch. The other girl caught it deftly, juggling it a few times between her hands before throwing it back, scoffing.

"I mean, do you think that would freak her out, or something? Why are you asking?"

Chloe mulled it over, letting the hacky sack fall dangerously close to her face before intercepting it and launching it into the air again.

"It's hard for me to gage. Maybe I overthink it, cause I know her so well? I dunno. Do you think it's too soon?" She asked again, parting with the sack. Rachel caught it, but set it aside instead of perpetuating their game.

"Not for me, but who knows? It's different for different people, you know that." She replied. That wasn't the answer Chloe was looking for, and she sighed. "Just… Try it, I guess? If she tells you to stop, then it's too soon."

It sounded simple, but the mere thought of it made Chloe cringe. Imagining Max pushing her away, being afraid of her, feeling trapped… It was the worst case scenario. On the other hand, getting closer to the girl was definitely a goal. They were dating, after all.

"Dude. Just do it!" Rachel laughed, picking the hacky sack up again so she could throw it across the room, hitting Chloe square in the forehead. "It's not gonna 'make or break' your relationship. Just might be awkward for a sec. She's your best friend, though. You'll figure it out."

While not really sound advice, it did make Chloe feel a bit more confident.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Max didn't push her away. They had snuck into the pool at Blackwell Academy, clothes and all, and had been swimming together with a coy flirtatiousness that inevitably led to them pressed together against the edge of the pool, lips locked. After a moment of torturous hesitation, Chloe went for it.

And Max _went for it_.

They nearly got caught because they failed to notice the security guard patrolling the area until it was almost too late. It was hard to focus when Max was putty in her arms, mouth open and legs wrapped tight around Chloe's waist. They wound up holding their breath until they were on the verge of passing out to hide underwater. Luckily it was long enough for the guard to move on.

It was easy to hold Max's weight in the water, and impossible to tell how much time was passing inside the building. She could have kissed the brunette for days. Before, making out with people was fast, sloppy, albeit passionate. But Max-

God, Max.

She was soft, but kisses insistent, never letting Chloe stray far for breath. Her inexperience was obvious, but she vastly made up for it with enthusiasm. It had been a while since kissing someone had made Chloe's mind go blank, but it was as if she couldn't find room for thoughts, so caught up Max's lips, her taste, the feeling of her body pressed so close. The way the water reflected in her irises when her eyes fluttered open on occasion. Chloe could see her own image, too, brows drawn and mouth parted as she panted to catch her breath. She thought it was rather unattractive, the way her hair slicked back against her head and her clothes clung to show that her body wasn't all it seemed.

But Max looked more at peace than she'd maybe ever been. Her smile was warm, and it made it to her eyes. It was as if she couldn't see what Chloe lacked, at least in that moment. Maybe she didn't care? It seemed too much to hope for, but the way that she hung on, for all she was worth, sort of had Chloe believing it.

They'd worn their clothes in; Chloe because she was uncomfortable, and Max because she picked up on that. But in the end, they wound up stripping down to their underwear anyway to avoid completely soaking the seats in Chloe's truck. It was cold, a little awkward, and ultimately fruitless, for the seats were wet anyway. But it wasn't as entirely uncomfortable as Chloe had anticipated being bare in front of her girlfriend would be.

She spent the night at Max's dorm, squeezed into shorts and a T-shirt that were a little too short for her. It was amazing to see how much had changed since the last time she'd crashed there. Not Max's room, but _them._

She didn't shy away when Max plopped down in her lap, nor did she stiffly confine herself to one side of the bed. When Max shut the lid of her laptop, which had been playing some cartoons since they'd returned from the pool, Chloe didn't shimmy away as the brunette drew closer to cuddle.

She spooned the other girl all night long, and well into the morning, and never once considered pulling away.

-.-.-+-.-.-

When Chloe finally decided to chance taking Max to the Two Whales, it was quickly proven to be a mistake. After a brief disapproving look, Joyce spent the entire two hours they were there fawning over her favorite surrogate daughter and feeding her copious amounts of diner food. While bashful at first, Max quickly fell back into her comfort zone with the woman, and even gave her a hug as they waved goodbye.

"I should have known that she'd steal my date if I brought you here." Chloe grumbled, holding the door open for her grinning girlfriend.

"Oh hush. We've been doing _plenty_ of catching up. It was just a couple of hours." The brunette argued, nudging her companion's side playfully.

Chloe rolled her eyes, but didn't complain any further. It was sort of nice to see her mother in such good spirits again. If she was being honest, things between them had been just a little strained after Chloe had come out. While Joyce had taken it fairly well, David had not. It took years for him to start using her name and pronouns.

Needless to say, she'd moved out young. It wasn't that she never saw Joyce… But it had been getting rare. Having Max around again, though, had her considering putting a bit more effort into that relationship, too.

Max laced their fingers when they got to the dorms, leading the way to her room. The path had already become familiar to the taller girl, and the dorm supervisor barely even spared her a glance nowadays. It was like she'd always been doing it, like they'd been together for ages already.

But Max's coy flirtatiousness never failed to remind her how new their relationship really was. She was always shy when she wanted something, but courageous enough to act on it, for the most part. It was cute, the hesitation before she'd stretch for a kiss, or the flush on her cheeks when she realized that they'd become open-mouthed. The shake in her fingers as she reached for Chloe's. The thump of her heart, quick like an excited rabbit, when Chloe would lay her ear over it.

The brunette put on a movie, which she quickly became absorbed in, while Chloe became absorbed in playing with pretty auburn locks. It was always hard to concentrate whenever she was around Max, but it was mind-numbing in the way marijuana was for her- Pleasant and calming. Like her worries didn't matter, like they never would again.

When the movie finished, Max shut her laptop, crawled up to plant a kiss against Chloe's lips, then collapsed practically on top of her, getting cozy as if she owned the place. Not that Chloe was going to complain. Being able to wrap the other girl up in her arms made sleeping a lot easier.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Sex had always been difficult territory. It was supposedly supposed to get easier with experience. People got desensitized, stopped thinking about it as a big deal. Rachel, for example, would recount tales of her escapades on a rather frequent basis without batting a lash.

But for Chloe, it was terrifying to even imagine getting naked in front of someone. If she didn't even want to look at her own body, how could she expect someone else to? It was all wrong, and she wasn't far enough along in her transition to even pretend that it wasn't. It didn't really matter how well she passed with clothes on; When it came down to it, she had the wrong parts.

And she hated it. God, she hated it. But surgery isn't cheap, and she wasn't exactly rolling in cash. Considering she was relying on her mother to pay her bills and feed her, saving wasn't even possible. And she wasn't a bad enough daughter to beg her mom to spot her a few _thousand_ dollars.

Even so, her want for Max was undeniable. Keeping her hands to herself was driving her up the wall, yet her fear of intimacy kept her at bay. How would the brunette react? Was she even interested? How would they proceed if she wasn't? If she was? More than anything, she wished she knew if Max would reject her or not.

Some part of her knew better; Max wasn't like that. Even if she didn't want to, she'd never let it be the reason to end their relationship. Still, the anxiety rested in Chloe's gut, rendering her frozen, unable to take the next step.

So, as she always did on the rare occasion that Chloe didn't hurtle herself into something headfirst, Max took control of the situation.

They'd been laying under the stars on a blanket Chloe kept in the toolbox of her truck bed. If she craned her neck, she could see the lighthouse behind them, reflecting the silvery moonlight starkly. It gave everything a whitish glow, and gave the night a romantic, ethereal air.

Max had been drawing lines between stars with her index finger, but she let her hand drop to her stomach as she glanced Chloe's way, catching ocean blue with stormy. She offered a sheepish smile, nose crinkling a little as the corners of her mouth drew up. Chloe poked it, chuckling when she received a whine of protest.

The brunette didn't let her eyes stray, though, holding on to the gaze as she heaved herself up on her elbows, then her knees. It wasn't really surprising when she sat herself in Chloe's lap, pressing their lips together and looping her arms around the taller girl's neck in the same motion.

Kissing was familiar, at that point. She wasn't hesitating as much as she used to. In fact, there wasn't even a pause before Max was squeezing as close as she could and deepening the kiss. As it always did, it made Chloe's mind reel, and she got lost in the feeling of Max's weight, in her taste, in the motion of her lips.

What _did_ come as a surprise was the sensation of Max's hips rolling against her own. Even when she pulled back to reestablish eye contact, the smaller girl seemed unperturbed. As if she hadn't just taken it up a significant notch. Chloe searched her eyes, asking silent questions and getting just as silent answers.

But they seemed to come to the same conclusion, for they made quick work of packing up and returning to the truck. When it wasn't busy shifting gears, Chloe kept her hand tucked into Max's.

She sort of wished she'd cleaned up her apartment a little. But, truth be told, Max had seen her living quarters in much sorrier states over the years. Max had helped her clean up the aforementioned sorrier states. She probably didn't even notice the ash-covered coffee table or the dishes left out; That was just Chloe.

They weren't using the living room, anyway.

Max didn't waste time dallying or looking around, knowing instinctually where to go even though she'd never been over before. She found the bedroom door on her first try. Chloe followed behind her, led by the hand through her own home.

She'd never invited Max to visit her at home, mostly because she was embarrassed about her inability to keep on top of tidying up. But seeing the other girl traipsing about like she'd never been more comfortable had her changing her mind. She could get used to that.

Easily navigating around the laundry on the floor, she turned as she reached the bed and reached for Chloe's other hand, smiling softly as she swung their arms between them for just a second. It was nostalgic, something they'd done when they were children. The familiarity of it helped Chloe find something of a comfort zone.

Then they were kissing again, slow but deep. It made it easy to tumble into bed, limbs tangled and lips locked. Chloe gasped as Max did that thing with her hips again, kissing her harder as her heart raced faster and her stomach started to knot with excitement.

"Fuck, Max-" She whimpered, desperately wanting more but afraid to ask for it.

She didn't have to ask, though, because Max understood. Probably better than anyone else ever could, just because she was Max. She sat up, holding her arms above her head and looking at the taller girl expectantly.

Chloe swallowed, going slowly as if she might frighten Max away with sudden movements. The girl didn't startle, though, wriggling a little to help get her shirt off when Chloe began to lift it up.

She was all freckles and soft, smooth skin. Her shoulders flushed pink as Chloe stared, but she didn't move to cover up, letting herself be exposed in that moment. With her stomach rising and falling as she breathed, her pretty pink bra (which she'd almost definitely chosen to wear on purpose,) the light colored peach fuzz- Chloe was lost. Trying to take it all in, her eyes weren't sure where to linger.

Max pulled a few maneuvers to get her jeans off, obviously bashful but doing her best to appear confident as she returned to straddling Chloe's waist. After a brief moment of hesitancy, the taller girl allowed her hands to wander, touch feather-light as she ghosted it across new skin.

Her girlfriend shuddered, spine going rigid when Chloe's fingers brushed over her thighs. As if that was some indicator she'd been waiting for, Max's hands crept to the hem of the other girl's shirt. But before she dragged it up even an inch, her eyes darted up for permission. And she didn't move till she'd gotten it, pulling up only after Chloe nodded her assent and lifted her arms.

Considering she hadn't planned on being naked that night, her own bra was simple, plain black. It didn't seem to matter, though, because Max was clearly more interested in getting it off than looking at it.

"I'll take mine off if you'll take yours off." She bargained, already reaching behind herself to work on the clasps. The thought of it made Chloe's throat dry, but she forced her body to comply before she could think about it too thoroughly.

It was reassuring, as she put her silicone breast forms on her bedside table, to see that Max was curious rather than disgusted. And when her eyes strayed from the forms to Chloe's actual chest, she wasn't taken aback.

The taller girl let it comfort her, and lost herself in touching Max again, hands trailing up slowly from her hips to cup over her breasts. The right one was smaller, but they were both so soft. The feeling was intoxicating, entirely different than the silicone. She felt both envious and lucky. She was the only one that got to touch Max that way.

Max mirrored the motion, not seeming to mind that she didn't get nearly as big a handful as Chloe did. She circled the pads of her fingers around Chloe's nipple, lips parted and expression _fascinated._ But not repulsed. It felt good, but nowhere near as good as knowing that Max didn't mind.

The brunette slid her fingers into the waistband of her panties, sliding them down over her hips. Chloe swallowed, hard, eyes wide. It wasn't as if she'd never been with anyone before. But it was Max. The Max that she'd loved for longer than she could even remember in that moment. And she was ready to give everything to Chloe. Trust her with everything.

She heard the fabric hitting the floor, so lost in thought that her eyes had gone unfocused. Before she could look, though, Max slid under the covers, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders.

"Um… I don't know if I can do it without the blanket." She mumbled bashfully. She sounded almost disappointed, like she thought she was failing.

Chloe smiled, ruffling her girlfriend's hair affectionately.

"That's alright. I think that'd be better for me too, anyway." She assured, leaning down to meet Max for a kiss.

It seemed to be enough, for Max relaxed after that, settling herself between Chloe's thighs. She held the taller girl's gaze as she slid her underwear down. Seeming to sense that it would bother Chloe, she didn't look, just craned up for another kiss.

"W-What should we do?" The brunette wondered, her chest fluttering with excited breaths. Chloe put her palms on either side of Max's ribcage, steadying her and reveling in the stutter of her breath.

"Whatever you're comfortable with." She replied, letting her hands plummet downward till she had a grip on the other girl's hips. She used them to hoist Max up into her lap, gasping at the friction. Max made a noise of surprise, lurching forward and scurrying to get her arms wrapped around Chloe's neck.

"Sorry-" Chloe began, kissing Max's neck by way of apology.

"No, you just s-surprised me." The smaller girl replied. "I've never been with someone before. I've never… You know… Dealt with anything 'down there.'"

Chloe could feel Max's skin warming up as she blushed. It made her smile fondly, carding her fingers through Max's tussled hair a few times.

"It's okay. Like I said, whatever you're comfortable with. We don't even have to do anything, if you don't want to." She promised. Max shook her head, pulling back to meet Chloe's eyes.

"No, I want to. Just… What should I do? What are _you_ comfortable with?"

Knowing that showing was easier than telling, Chloe slipped her hand between them, guiding Max's where she wanted it. And while she hesitated, she didn't shy away. It didn't take her long to figure it out, and soon Chloe had thrown her head back against the pillows, moans spilling from her lips.

It was so different when Max did it. She forgot to even feel bothered by her own genitalia, dysphoria momentarily forgotten as she got lost in the warmth of Max, so close.

She'd probably never come so fast in her life, which was sort of embarrassing. As was Max's fascination with it, turning her hands over to examine until Chloe hastily wiped it away with a shirt, cheeks red.

"S-Sorry." She grumbled, biting her lip. Max seemed perturbed, sitting up a bit until the blanket slipped down her shoulders, pooling around her waist instead.

"For what?" She wondered. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, she scooted closer so she could get a kiss.

Chloe covered her eyes with her arm. _See no evil._ Something like that.

"For… I dunno. I should have warned you, I guess." She offered. Even without seeing, she could tell that Max's expression faltered.

"…Chloe, I thought you promised me you wouldn't keep stuff from me anymore." She reminded, prying the arm away. Chloe kept her eyes firmly shut, though. She had to take a deep breath before she could open them. Max looked concerned. "I know that's not what's bothering you."

"I just… I feel like that probably grossed you out. I should have… Just… Doesn't it bother you?" Chloe fumbled, unsure of how to explain her feelings. "I'm supposed to be your _girl_ friend. I just hate that I can't be that physically."

She trapped her lip between her teeth again. She knew that self-depreciation was unattractive. If someone said that _to_ her, she'd have punched them in the arm and then given them a stern talking-to. But honestly, it got to her. She wished she could be in a place where it didn't. But it did.

Max's brows were drawn. Concern, but also hurt.

"…Chloe," She breathed, voice soft and sad. "You _are_ my girlfriend."

The girl in question swallowed, exhale shaky.

"I want to be with _you_. It doesn't matter to me what's down there. If you want to get surgery, then I'll be fine with that. If you don't, that's fine too. All that matters is that you're Chloe." She assured, smiling. "Please don't cry." She added when Chloe's eyes started to get glassy.

The taller girl blinked them away the best she could, pulling Max down just to hold her for a bit. Maxine Caulfield might be nosy, clumsy, and a little inconsiderate sometimes. She could even be a bad friend. But she definitely had a knack for knowing just what to say.

Chloe held her for minutes, then kissed down from her temple to her neck. Max let out a little sigh, rolling onto the mattress, letting Chloe trade her places. The latter didn't waste time littering the other girl's shoulders with kisses, hands roaming out of sight, down her hips and along the V of her legs.

She squirmed when Chloe's fingers slid into curls, the giggled once they found their target. Chloe grinned, catching Max's eye and stealing a kiss as she began working.

Max's legs tensed, her toes curling and uncurling as her back arched up and down. She bit a lot of her sounds down, but as her breathing picked up she began keening, gasping. She was so perfect.

She crashed through her climax; Chloe nearly thought she was crying. And she was hypersensitive afterwards, twitching in the wake of even soft touches. The taller girl, of course, exploited this, making her shiver by drawing circles over her hips, along her sides, and up her back.

When she calmed down, she wriggled herself into the space against Chloe's side. Her head was a little heavy against Chloe's shoulder, but she was willing to deal with some pins and needles in the morning in return for a night of holding Max close to where her heart was beating.

-.-.-+-.-.-

The semester seemed to fly by. It seemed like just a couple weeks had passed since Chloe had spotted Max on the boardwalk, yet she was already in the throes of panicking about her finals. In particular, her final project for her main photography class. It was very important to her career that she get a good grade, and needless to say, she was fretting herself silly.

It was just a photo. And the thing about Max is, she could pass anything off as high-quality work, even without trying. Her problem was actually that she tried _too_ hard. She overthought every shot, and rarely took more than one at a time. There was no trial and error, no lining a shot up a few different ways.

No, Max saw a shot, lined it up, and took it. All in one fluid motion. Watching her in action was enthralling in that way, seeing the look on her face when she first got a subject in her sights, the way her eyes lit up when she managed to capture exactly what she wanted to.

But that also made her craft a very opportunistic one. Sometimes she'd turn assignments in late because she hadn't been able to find the right picture. And while most of her teachers had learned to accommodate this in return for her superb work, the class final was a bit of a different.

Chloe had subsequently been dragged across Arcadia Bay several times over in the days leading up to the end of the school year. She'd even tried bringing Max to some of her own favorite places, like the junkyard and the little fire pit tucked into the forest near the lighthouse. But no matter where they went, Max would just look around with a frown on her face.

"I just wish she'd been more specific about what she wanted." Max grumbled, dejectedly stuffing her camera into her bag after another hopeful attempt at walking around. "I know I always say that, but have you ever really thought about how god damn vague art teachers are? They're always like 'Paint love,' or 'take a picture of purity,' or 'sculpt what really matters to you-'"

Chloe chuckled, flicking the end of her cigarette so the ashes fell away. Max was cute when she rambled.

"And I just… I don't know what to do. What if I fail the final?" She concluded, looking up to receive Chloe's opinion.

Leaning down, Chloe took advantage of the angle to steal a kiss, grinning as Max's brain short circuited for just a moment and her cheeks flushed. Then she pouted.

"Distracting me won't get me a good grade." She chided, though she balanced for a few steps on her toes so she could get one more. Chloe wrapped her arm around the brunette's shoulders, pulling her a little closer so they could comfortably walk that way.

"You're going to find your shot. You always do. There's no point in worrying yourself sick." She pointed out.

Max only pouted with more ferocity, dropping her eyes to the ground to watch their feet as they advanced down the sidewalk.

"We've literally gone everywhere in town. There _is_ no more 'On the Way.' We've already been on the way there and back, and there's nothing." Max groaned hopelessly.

Chloe shook her head, knowing it was going to be hard to reason with her girlfriend while she was in this sort of mood. Instead, it would be best to divert her attention. So she gently changed their course, leading the way to the Two Whales instead of her apartment. Max didn't complain.

Joyce had been on her way out, but put her apron back on without a second thought when they walked in. She didn't even offer up a menu, just winking before disappearing into the back, the smell of bacon _and_ waffles wafting into the dining area even though it was well past noon.

When the food was done, Joyce joined them in the booth, and Max asked for her opinion on the project that was giving her trouble. Joyce nursed a mug of coffee while she chatted, reaching over the bar to grab the pot on occasion as she passed time with the girls.

"Well, if going somewhere isn't helping, then maybe you're thinking about it too literally?" Joyce tried, quirking a brow. Max's own furrowed, considering the new perspective. "A lot of things can be 'on the way,' it doesn't necessarily have to be an in-between _place_."

Max was mostly silent after that, but Chloe knew that was just because the cogs of her mind were turning anew. She mouthed 'thank you' over her shoulder at her mother as they were leaving the diner, steering Max back in the direction of her apartment.

They walked through town again and Max looked with fresh eyes, determination renewed.

"Stayin' the night?" Chloe wondered, speech a bit hindered as she clamped another cigarette between her lips, patting her pockets down to find her lighter. Max took a while to respond, the words not seeming to process for several seconds as she scrutinized a building across the street that was in the middle of construction, metal framework still showing on the side closest to them.

It seemed that she decided against taking a picture, though, for she turned back to Chloe.

"If that's okay. My leftovers from last night are still in the fridge, and I wanna eat them before they go bad." She reasoned, lurching forward and lacing her fingers with Chloe's. Their arms swung between them and Chloe smirked down at her girlfriend.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's the _only_ reason you want to stay over."

Max shoved her gently, giggling along nonetheless. It wasn't long before they were climbing the stairs and lumbering through the door to plop down on the couch, all tangled limbs and evening laziness. Max had helped to clean the place up gradually, picking up every time she came over until it was manageable. She even convinced Chloe to take her garbage out more than once or twice a month.

To replace the mess, she'd started filling the space with her presence. Her visits had increased over time to the point that she'd started staying over more often than not. Not that Chloe was complaining; Waking up to Max's messy bedhead and morning breath was the best thing since T-blockers.

After some consideration, they settled in for a night of marathoning bad crime procedurals, stripping down to their undies and spooning on the couch until the wee hours of the morning. They both slipped in and out of sleep, eventually losing out and giving in, the TV picture still flashing with the volume down low.

-.-.-+-.-.-

Chloe woke up on the couch, sadly without a mess of brunette locks in her face. It was the weekend, though, so she doubted Max had gone back to her dorm. Finding her girlfriend was enough to motivate her to get up for the day, and she sat up with a bit of bone cracking and groaning. Sleeping on the couch was rough.

As she headed down the hall towards her room, she could hear the water from the bathroom, confirming Max was still in the apartment. This in mind, she altered her course and slipped into the washroom, quietly undressing.

Max let out a startled little yelp when Chloe slid her arms around the other girl's middle, but she quickly relaxed when she realized that she wasn't getting attacked or something. She took a couple steps backwards, pressing their bodies as close together as she could, letting her weight lean against Chloe for balance.

Chloe pressed her face into the crook of the brunette's neck, kissing her wet shoulder and letting one of her hands trail down to grab her hip, dragging her pelvis back and grinding forward in one motion. Max gasped, then giggled, reaching back to grab at one of Chloe's thighs.

"You never fail to wake up horny as hell." The brunette commented, and Chloe could hear her eyes rolling in the way she said it. The taller girl snickered, grinding against her again.

"Can't help it when I picture my cute girlfriend, naked and soaking in the shower, just waiting for me to join her~"

Max elbowed her girlfriend gently, interrupting her little fantasy.

"More like innocently taking a shower, unsuspecting, before being jumped by a blue haired maniac." She sassed. Chloe only cackled, pleased with the sarcastic banter. Max had been getting snarkier by the day, an accomplishment Chloe took full responsibility for.

"Does that mean you won't give me a _hand_?" She wondered, snickering at her pun. Max groaned her annoyance, but her hand was already sliding across Chloe's thigh, shifting to the side a bit to make it a more comfortable position.

Chloe sighed, breath hitching as Max worked her over. It was a bit hard to stay upright, but she held out, kissing her girlfriend's cheek between the occasional moan. Max had proven a quick learner, and was catching up in leaps and bounds as far as sexual activity was concerned. Chloe had never had such an attentive lover. (Not to say that she'd had a lot, but definitely more than one.)

It made her feel special, like she meant the world to Max. Like she was worth spending time on. And feeling special felt really nice.

When they finished in the shower, Chloe got started on making breakfast out of what little she had in the fridge, and Max grabbed her bookbag, pulling her laptop out and setting it up on the small kitchen table.

The brunette was quiet, not even her keyboard keys clicking while Chloe was working. When she glanced over, she found the girl staring at a polaroid in her hand. And maybe Max was starting to influence her a little, too, because she was suddenly feeling _very_ nosy.

"What's that?" She wondered, transferring a couple of pancakes from the stove to a plate. The brunette's shoulders tensed, and she glanced over to catch Chloe's eye.

Her expression spoke volumes of her nervousness, and the taller girl's curiosity only grew.

"That face makes me think it has to do with me…" She pointed out, returning to the food nonetheless. She'd learned that it was best to let Max do things at her own pace. Sometimes with a little encouragement, but always at her speed.

The girl in question was silent for a long while, long enough for Chloe to finish breakfast. When she placed the plates on the table, Max finally looked up at her, sighing.

"Um… I took a picture… Of you." She admitted, frowning. Chloe blinked, poised to dig into her food. She let her hands fall, though, devoting her full attention to her girlfriend.

"…Okay? You take a lot of pictures of me." She reminded, quirking a brow. Max didn't seem comforted, though, shifting a bit in her chair.

"It's just… I think I want to turn it in… As my final." She mumbled, voice slow and words meticulous. Chloe thought that over, still unsure what all the hesitancy was about. Max had used photos of her before. What was the big deal?

Swallowing, the smaller girl slid the photo out from under a notebook, looking at it carefully.

"I… I don't know if you'll be… Comfortable with it." She explained, biting her lip anxiously. "I took it this morning when you were sleeping… I just… Seeing you like that just sort of took my breath away, and I took the picture, but then I realized that I could kind of make it fit the theme… But I… I don't want you to be offended. I don't want to hurt your feelings, and-"

Chloe shushed her, holding her hand out for the polaroid. Max gave it one more hard look, then handed it over, looking pointedly at the floor while her girlfriend scrutinized her photo.

It was Chloe, hair fanned out against the arm of the couch, soft purple light spilling in from the window and painting dramatic shadows across the paleness of her skin. Even with all of her self-deprecation, she thought she looked kind of beautiful in the picture.

Then she thought about Max showing it to other people. She was in only her bra and underwear, and while the shot stopped at her hips, the lack of breasts to fill the bra was very obvious. And the theme, 'on the way.' It dawned on her what Max meant, and understood her fear of offending.

But she didn't feel offended, as much as flattered.

"I-I know it kind of sounds like... I was just thinking that 'on the way' is another way of saying 'transitioning,' and we have to write an essay explaining the photo, and I know it would be so easy to write about you, but I…" Max rambled. She looked like she was about to cry.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'll find another picture, if you don't want me to turn this one in. I know it's your body, and it's your transition, and I seriously will respect whatever you decide."

Chloe looked it over one more time, then slid it back across the table, reaching out and tangling her hand in Max's hair, holding her steady so she could plant a kiss on her lips.

"You can turn it in." She decided, running her thumb over the brunette's cheekbone. Max's eyes fluttered open, because she always closed them when they kissed. She didn't seem surprised, but nor did she seem excited. Her stare was unwavering for a moment, stormy grey-blue that Chloe could get lost in for days.

"Chloe, are you _really_ okay with it? I want to make sure, because I think you look beautiful in it, but I also know sometimes you do things because you know I want you to, but-"

Again, she cut her off, shaking her head.

"I'm sure, Max. It's really okay. I can tell it's the one you want to use, and it's a good picture. Just… Can I read the essay before you turn it in?" She wondered. Max nodded quickly, wrapping her girlfriend up in a hug.

"Of course you can. Thank you." She breathed, kissing along Chloe's jaw affectionately.

"Yeah. Eat your pancakes before they get cold." The taller girl reminded, smiling despite herself. She liked seeing Max so happy. And she felt a bit lucky that the girl was so supportive of her transition. If the polaroid on the table between them was any indication, she might even find her transition beautiful.

It definitely made it a bit easier to love herself too, when Max found inspiration in her. Muse was never a role she thought she could fill, but Max's portfolio, spilling with shots of electric blue against the soft browns and greens and greys of Arcadia Bay, had proven that even someone like her could inspire art.

Maybe it was a little hard to imagine exposing herself like that to the world, but if it was framed through Max's lens, perhaps she could learn to appreciate her transition the same way the brunette did.

They finished breakfast, and Max worked on her essay for a bit, then they parted ways for the night. Max had class in the morning, so it was best if she wasn't kept up late.

But in her wake, Chloe found another polaroid, upside down on her pillow. When she flipped it over, glimpsing a very naked Maxine Caulfield posing in the bathroom mirror to get the shot, her face flushed pleasantly, stomach doing a few excited flips. She supposed that'd do as payment for the A Max was going to get on her final.

-.-.-+-.-.-

As expected, Max had passed with flying colors. The professor had actually stopped her to chat about the photo before the semester was over, stroking her ego and sending her home to Chloe beaming. She shared the news with a wide grin, and allowed Chloe to talk her into going out to celebrate.

Chloe bought her dinner, splurging a little for the end of the semester and taking her to a kind of nice Chinese restaurant. Max recalled liking the place when they'd gone for Chloe's birthday years ago, before her father had died. Chloe only smiled, ruffling the hair Max had worked hard to curl, messing up a few of the ringlets, much to the brunette's dismay.

While they waited for their food, she twirled them around her fingers, carefully re-twisting the curls into place, skillfully avoiding her girlfriend's wrath. They shared a dish and a cocktail, then decided to go up to the lighthouse for some introspection.

They'd been sitting, watching the sunset till it was replaced with the rising moon and stars. Then Chloe squeezed Max's hand, drawing her closer against her side as she cleared her throat.

"So," she began, earning a devious look from her girlfriend.

"That's ominous. You're not breaking up with me, are you?" Max inquired, voice playful. Chloe rolled her eyes, gently bonking the other girl on the head with her fist.

"No, dummy. Of course not. I was actually wondering… If you had any, uh, plans for your living arrangements? Your dorm closes over the summer, doesn't it?" She asked. Max grinned coyly, eyes narrowing in that way she did when she was trying to be flirtatious.

"I get the feeling that's not the real question here." The brunette suggested, a brow raising.

Chloe sighed, her eyes rolling.

"Well, if you're so clever, I'm sure you can guess what I'm getting at." She huffed, pouting huffily. Max only chuckled, kissing her cheek.

To be honest, she had been pretty nervous about asking Max to move in with her. It felt sort of like… Like a commitment. And while she was head over heels with Max, would get married to her in a heartbeat if she asked even, she wasn't sure if the other girl felt the same.

But now it seemed silly, as the brunette climbed into her lap and wrapped her arms around the taller girl's neck, that she'd ever worried.

"Of course I'd love to come live with you, Chloe. I've sort of been planning on it, actually." She admitted, voice sheepish. "It was either you or my parents." She added, throwing in a dramatic shudder for good measure. Chloe allowed herself a little laugh.

"I've just been waiting for you to ask. I didn't want to invite myself in."

The taller girl scoffed, burying her nose in Max's shoulder, holding her tight.

"Please, invite yourself in. Better yet, never leave." She murmured, closing her eyes and feeling the rhythm of Max's breathing. The brunette petted her hair, fingers carding through occasionally.

"As long as you'll have me." She promised, kissing the crown of Chloe's head. "I love you."

Chloe's breath hitched, and she almost slammed her head into Max's nose with how quick she snapped to look up. It was the first time Max had said it. But she didn't look like she regretted it. She looked relaxed, happy, the storm in her eyes calm for the time being. And she looked like she felt the same way Chloe did when she looked at Max. Like she was in love.

It was probably midnight by the time they stopped kissing and went home. They needed to go clear Max's dorm out, and clean up Chloe's apartment to make room for her things, and probably tell Joyce, but that could all wait.

For the time being, all that mattered was who could stay up long enough to be the last one to say "I love you more."

A/N: I've been working on this off and on for quite a while now. It's sort of hard to work on sometimes, with my own gender nonsense going on occasionally. But I really needed something like this, and had a really hard time finding it. So, as I do when I can't find what I want, I wrote it.

To be fair, I don't consider myself transgender. I therefore am not an expert, and only write from my personal experience with my own gender identity, and from what I've learned from people close to me. I try to portray characters of different genders and orientations as respectfully and authentically as I can. I am, however, VERY open to criticism. If something stands out as horrendously out of character for a transgender Chloe, please drop me a line. I'd love to discuss it. I'd love to expand my knowledge.

But otherwise, I hope it was a good read. Though I struggled at times, I really enjoyed working on this behemoth. I typically write multi-chaptered works with relatively short chapters, but I find it sort of satisfying to oneshot things on occasion.

I tend to ramble, so I'll call that good. Thanks for reading, and I'd love if you left some feedback. Keep well 3

KuroRiya  
九六りや


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